Title: Dangerous Liaisons
Fandom: Chronicles of Narnia
Warnings: Why yes it's Peter/Susan. Don't like, don't read.
A/N: I wrote this at least a year ago. I'm sorta kinda proud of it.
You realize things have changed between you and Susan after your return from Narnia. Susan retreats more into herself, putting up this grand façade that she’s perfectly fine.
You know she isn’t.
So you go to her, (a King must always look out for his subjects) ask her what’s wrong, and she magically transforms in front of your eyes. Her poker face shatters, tears fall from her sapphire eyes, and she’s crying on your shoulder.
“Why did Aslan allow us to come back? He could’ve saved us!” She sobs. For once, you feel like a failure of a brother for allowing Susan to feel like this for months now. (A King should always be aware of his subject’s feelings.)
“It’s alright Su, everything will be fine,” You say reassuringly. She pulls away from your embrace; her eyes change from two sparkling sapphires to ice.
“I was grown up there-we all were. Now we’re all adults trapped in children’s bodies, and forced to repeat everything over again. There isn’t any worse punishment than that.”
“This isn’t a punishment Su; it’s the price for curiosity.” You murmur, tucking a strand of her chocolate brown hair behind her ear.
“Curiosity killed the cat,” Susan agrees, as her calm demeanor comes back. She clears her throat, gives you a half smile, and makes her way to the door.
“Thanks, I needed that. I’ve been trying to keep strong around Edmund and Lucy, but it’s nice to have someone to lean on.” She leaves, and you can’t help but feel like you needed that too.
After the heart to heart, Susan latches on to you. She comes into your room every night and for a few hours both you and Susan allow yourselves not to be the strong ones. Both of you talk of simple things; school, the war, life, books. Sometimes there’s some much needed crying involved, (a good King knows it isn’t good to let emotions build up inside of you) because even adults can cry like children sometimes.
Things begin to change after that. Glances between you and Susan are filled with a powerful emotion you can’t place, embraces last a second too long, and even the late night chats are growing awkward. It’s useless to deny what’s happening. You hate yourself for allowing this to happen (a King doesn’t have romantic feelings for his sister), but it was ultimately inevitable. You two comforted each other, were there for each during difficult times, and understood the mutual pain that Narnia had bestowed on you. It was to be expected.
Susan comes to your bedroom one night, and by the looks of it, has been crying. A handkerchief and a shoulder to cry on are offered, which makes her look a little better. After a few moments of sobs and crying, Susan recovers with a small smile.
“I-I’m sorry. I-I’m alright now,” She murmurs, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. You know she isn’t though; Susan’s averting your gaze and looks quite nervous.
“Care to tell me what’s troubling you?” (A King must always know the troubles of his subjects) Susan remains silent in her contemplation while she bits her lower lip. By a glance at the clock on your bedside table, at least five minutes pass before Susan speaks again.
“Have you ever felt something, which you shouldn’t have felt?” She asks, still not looking up from the floor. Your breath hitches in your throat, while the room suddenly has become unbearably hot. Is it possible she could feel the same way? Would fate be so generous after what happened with Narnia?
“Yes-yes I have,” You say simply. (A King never lies) Susan finally looks up at you with hope in her sapphire eyes.
“For someone you shouldn’t have?”
“She’s sitting right beside me,” You say bluntly. (A King never dances around important issues) Susan’s eyes widen, and a moment later she’s in your arms.
“Oh thank Aslan! I thought something was wrong with me,” She whispers against your shoulder.
Suddenly it feels like everything is alright in the world. Edmund has completely shed his selfish ways, (although cheeky comments come by the dozen) Lucy was always fine with returning it seemed, (Susan tells you that she feels quite regretful about not telling Mr. Tumnus goodbye, as he was always rather emotional and couldn't handle surprises very well) but the best part is certainly not feeling alone with your feelings toward Susan. You know that deep down things would be much better handled in Narnia, (a King must never feel guilty with whom he chooses to have a liaison with) where such things as incest don't exist.
You have to keep your relationship hidden, but secretly you enjoy being involved in something quite dangerous. Normal things that couples do (holding hands, tight embraces, kissing) must be done under the cover of the night. Both of you enjoy going to the cinema, where it's dark and no one asks any questions. Susan giggles and says that the whole thing is rather ridiculous, but she loves you and that’s all that matters. (A king deserves to have what he wants)
When all of you return to Narnia, at first you think it's a blessing. Here your relationship with Susan can finally be unveiled without shame. Slowly but surely you find that things aren't the same. (It's a far more savage place than any of you remember) Susan seems terribly affected by it all, and shuns anyone who tries to comfort her. Even you. Lucy says that Susan just needs time alone; she's never been one who likes or looks for comforting.
You don't know whether to be shocked or hurt when that blasted Caspian enters the picture, and Susan looks mildly intrigued by him. What's not to like? He's tall, dark, and handsome and girls always go for that type. You're certainly surprised when you begin wishing to go back to England, where the old Susan would spend the night in your arms.
When she goes and takes Caspian's side, you realize things have begun to crumble. When she kisses him, you just want to escape back to England. Home. Something inside of you thinks that once you're all back there, the old Susan will appear. She'll come into your room at night, and giggle whilst saying it was just some big joke. (A king is always right about these sorts of things)
The first time Susan pulls away cuts you deeper then any wound received in battle.
“Don’t.” She scrunches up her face in disgust and goes back to reading her book. Susan hadn't come into your room last night, hadn't said it was one big joke, and certainly didn't whisper how much she loved you in-between giggles.
“What’s wrong?” Something must be wrong. Otherwise you two wouldn’t be talking right now. Susan remains silent, which you find hurts pretty badly.
"Have you ever thought that perhaps what we're doing is wrong?" She hisses, closing her book and staring you down with her sapphire eyes which you usually find yourself drowning in.
"If I did, don't you think it's a little late for that? Don't you think we should've thought about that earlier?" You find yourself shouting, eyes blazing, and voice growing hoarse.
"Bloody hell, you’re the King! You should've done something thinking!" Susan shouts back, sitting up from the couch and leaving you alone in the sitting room. You don't go after her, but rather sit down on the couch wordlessly. (A king never chases after something already lost)
You haven't had a decent conversation with her in years, but here you are pleading with her.
"Come with us Su; come with us back to Narnia." (A king never pleads, but just this once is alright) Susan wrinkles her nose in disgust and goes back to applying her lipstick. She's going out with another nameless beau that'll be dumped in another week. She never stays with any man longer then six weeks tops.
"Oh please, don't speak another word about that made up place. Everyone will start to think you're absolutely mental," Susan sighs. Suddenly your calm countenance snaps, and you take her by the shoulders.
"Stop it! What happened to the old Susan that giggled over the slightest thing? The Susan who came with me to the cinema every weekend, or ran to me crying with arms outstretched? Come back to me." You cry, watching slowly as her face suddenly transforms into something you vaguely remember. Susan looks like a child again, her pink lips quivering and eyes shining with unshed tears.
"That Susan died with the war." Then she's forever; you know this indefinitely. You find yourself needing to get out of the room; her perfume is suffocating you. She doesn't chase after you like in the movies, as you get into the car waiting outside. Your chest feels like it's about to burst, while tears threaten to spill out of your azure eyes. When did everything go wrong? If you'd have chased after her, would things still be the same? You'll never know.
(A king never looks back)